If you buy our laptop (and it would be nice if you bought our camera too), you will be transformed into a glamourous, Photoshop-perfect blonde with an exciting career that allows for copious time spent lounging on the white sands of a seaside paradise in revealing clothing.
You will probably need to buy another laptop.
This donation is toast from top to bottom, not a scrap of it worth saving. Salt water hates electronics too much. Sorry, Loyal Customer -- your warranty is void and the sunglasses aren't included anyway.